How hard is this for me?

It is very hard for me to accept the situation. This chastitybelt had made an end to all my sexual needs. Any fight against the belt out of lust is only more torturing the longer I fight. The pressure raises very hard and that is something I can;t hold for a long time. After a fight I have pain from forcing something what is locked in this strong metal device. This device is designed to resist these fights and make them even torture more. So I gave up the fight and try to deal with this situation. The thought I can't control this torture in any way makes me so extremely horny because I seem to be such a big masochist in this way this torture turns me on more and more the harder this torture becomes.

My girlfriend is a very, very sexy girl and she often wears clothing which are my fetish like pantyhoses, thigh high stockings, high boots, short skirts and tight tops. see her walk in her fishnets over shiny pantyhose in her high boots made me get extremely horny without restricted in a chastitybelt and I did not experienced this not yet, but it will soon happen I think (and hope). This situation of feeling helpless forces me to dream about things instead of experience them for real. I try to get most possible satisfaction out of my dreams because it's all I have. It feels so good to finally let it happen what I promised myself a long time ago, experience chastity in the way these belts are designed for. restricting sexual needs in any possible way without freedom to unload.

There are very much chastitydevices and a lot can be broken easilly if the pressure is getting really to high to handle. I did choose the safest way to buy this expensive belt to know for sure I never ever can't escape without the key. And here I am, in the situation of extreme lust and desires which I can't hold anymore already. In my mind this torture satisfies me because I have no choice than get used to this torture and finally feel this as something 'normal'. This is impossible ofcourse, but I try to write my stories down for people who enjoy reading them.

Last time some keyholders sent me messages and offered to hold the keys for lifetime. This turned me on very much, because if my girlfriend would allow it later in the process I hope I can hand the keys over to a cruel and extremely sadistic keyholder who enjoys to control this endless torture on me without any freedom at all. My greatest kick on this to see the sadist who holds the keys having endless sexual pleasure on my suffer in this. My chastitybelt has metal points which can be locked inside which will make any smallest erection such a torture that makes me cry and scream it our of pain. I tried this once and in my extreme rush of this kick i let the key on the total other side of the house. I felt this horrable pain and realising the key wasn't there made my erection even more hard which caused me crawling on the floor for about 5 minutes until the pain became so cruel my erection flew away. But I am prepared to wear this points in my chastitybelt if a keyholder in the future let me to. My choice is, and still is, endless chastity controlled by someone else. And if that person want these points inside, I have no right tom protest in this because It's not realistic to give the control away on this and still decide what he can do on me or not.

Right now my girlfriend has the keys and she has total control in this and she enjoys it very much. She gets horny when she reads my high lust out of my eyes and I serve her orgasms everytime she wants me to. I even ask sometimes if I may give her an orgasm because it's the best way of sexual contact which I got so hungry on already. My girlfriend is really sexy and i realise it's the hardest torture to let this happen with such a sexy girlfriend. it is something new for her and she is very exciting by how this situation boosted her sexual needs, which were very high before already. My pleasure is to see her enjoy this and all the new and cruel plans we talk about.

I feel her enjoy this taste from the start a few days ago when she got total control of my endless chastity. She talked about cuckolding and she will have sex with other men when she needs longer sexual moments which a guy who hasn't the restriction of a chastity-device. Those words told by her scared me but made me more and more horny about it. I accept all consequences out of this and that single lock which is, and stays, closed on me will bring me a lot of cruel and humiliating moments which will make me cry, crawl and suffer in any other way. It feels like my destiny which I accepted and created an impossible return. I can't break this golden words which satisfies us both in such a high and undescribable way. It's the truth now and I accepted it many years ago deep inside me. I only need to accept the consequences which will come and most of them I even don't know yet.