maandag 20 juli 2009
Stuck
Now that I all wrote this the pressure got so high I really can't stand anymore. I needed to put something in my underwear to catch up the fluids dripping out of the metal holes. I am in such a high need of an orgasm and I am so stupid right now to fight this belt while I know it's useless and only torturing me. But my body is so high-sensitive and my orgasm is sooo close that i try to keep this feeling as long as I can. But to reach my orgasm I need much more freedom than this belt gives me. I try to get some sleep now and write more later.....
What turns me on
Right now the pressure has risen extremely high and caused some pain while I am horny even more by writing over things that became a pure phantasy. The only thing I can do is write about them and share them with you. And I hope you will enjoy reading them. It gives me strength if people enjoy my diary and please, let me know if you are!
We are in the mood to explore our sexuality even more right now, like we go to visit fetish-parties and let us go totally in that way. I am sure I get to deal with this chastitybelt a lot of times in a very hard way, but I will enjoy the confrontation with parties with a lot of sexy people around what will turn me on very much and I will never run away for it.
I have a fetish for pantyhoses, tights, stockings, boots and short skirts like I told before. I would like to share some pictures with you which causes me the most frustration and pain. I will explain all of them ofcourse.
The picture on top is a sexy girl like my own girlfriend wearing black tights, and that turns me in in a way that i can not describe. Addicted to slide my fingers over that tights over and over again and turn eachother on more and more and finally break the crotch of those tights and let us go mad. Feel me sliding into her and feel the horny juices that makes this all so slightly and something I really cant miss. This picture is a metaphore for the moment she starts to miss these moments and her dissappointed look will cause me the most frustration I can imagine one closed lock on me can cause.
The second picture is a metaphore of see and even hear my girlfriend put her boots on before we go somewhere. At such moments I always think about the moment we have sex as soon as we get home. I will not think about how I will feel next time she closes her boots with her sexy legs in pantyhose in them.
The 3rd and 4th picture are examples of what kind of very sexy and gothic clothes she wears often.
The last picture is a symbol of the moment these, very intense moments I had so much satisfaction were blown away and I now start to realise after it.
I will write down all my hard moments which will come from now. I know tomorrow she wears something that turns me on the most. Her crotchless black pantyhose, her thigh high stockings, her knee high boots, her miniskirt and nylon tight bodystocking. So her crotch is not covered like i had sex with her in that outfit many times. Now it became a tease which will cause me a lot of suffer a lot of hours. And as long she excites this I am not worried, I am when she starts to miss it and needs someone else in my place....
How hard is this for me?
It is very hard for me to accept the situation. This chastitybelt had made an end to all my sexual needs. Any fight against the belt out of lust is only more torturing the longer I fight. The pressure raises very hard and that is something I can;t hold for a long time. After a fight I have pain from forcing something what is locked in this strong metal device. This device is designed to resist these fights and make them even torture more. So I gave up the fight and try to deal with this situation. The thought I can't control this torture in any way makes me so extremely horny because I seem to be such a big masochist in this way this torture turns me on more and more the harder this torture becomes.
My girlfriend is a very, very sexy girl and she often wears clothing which are my fetish like pantyhoses, thigh high stockings, high boots, short skirts and tight tops. see her walk in her fishnets over shiny pantyhose in her high boots made me get extremely horny without restricted in a chastitybelt and I did not experienced this not yet, but it will soon happen I think (and hope). This situation of feeling helpless forces me to dream about things instead of experience them for real. I try to get most possible satisfaction out of my dreams because it's all I have. It feels so good to finally let it happen what I promised myself a long time ago, experience chastity in the way these belts are designed for. restricting sexual needs in any possible way without freedom to unload.
There are very much chastitydevices and a lot can be broken easilly if the pressure is getting really to high to handle. I did choose the safest way to buy this expensive belt to know for sure I never ever can't escape without the key. And here I am, in the situation of extreme lust and desires which I can't hold anymore already. In my mind this torture satisfies me because I have no choice than get used to this torture and finally feel this as something 'normal'. This is impossible ofcourse, but I try to write my stories down for people who enjoy reading them.
Last time some keyholders sent me messages and offered to hold the keys for lifetime. This turned me on very much, because if my girlfriend would allow it later in the process I hope I can hand the keys over to a cruel and extremely sadistic keyholder who enjoys to control this endless torture on me without any freedom at all. My greatest kick on this to see the sadist who holds the keys having endless sexual pleasure on my suffer in this. My chastitybelt has metal points which can be locked inside which will make any smallest erection such a torture that makes me cry and scream it our of pain. I tried this once and in my extreme rush of this kick i let the key on the total other side of the house. I felt this horrable pain and realising the key wasn't there made my erection even more hard which caused me crawling on the floor for about 5 minutes until the pain became so cruel my erection flew away. But I am prepared to wear this points in my chastitybelt if a keyholder in the future let me to. My choice is, and still is, endless chastity controlled by someone else. And if that person want these points inside, I have no right tom protest in this because It's not realistic to give the control away on this and still decide what he can do on me or not.
Right now my girlfriend has the keys and she has total control in this and she enjoys it very much. She gets horny when she reads my high lust out of my eyes and I serve her orgasms everytime she wants me to. I even ask sometimes if I may give her an orgasm because it's the best way of sexual contact which I got so hungry on already. My girlfriend is really sexy and i realise it's the hardest torture to let this happen with such a sexy girlfriend. it is something new for her and she is very exciting by how this situation boosted her sexual needs, which were very high before already. My pleasure is to see her enjoy this and all the new and cruel plans we talk about.
I feel her enjoy this taste from the start a few days ago when she got total control of my endless chastity. She talked about cuckolding and she will have sex with other men when she needs longer sexual moments which a guy who hasn't the restriction of a chastity-device. Those words told by her scared me but made me more and more horny about it. I accept all consequences out of this and that single lock which is, and stays, closed on me will bring me a lot of cruel and humiliating moments which will make me cry, crawl and suffer in any other way. It feels like my destiny which I accepted and created an impossible return. I can't break this golden words which satisfies us both in such a high and undescribable way. It's the truth now and I accepted it many years ago deep inside me. I only need to accept the consequences which will come and most of them I even don't know yet.
My girlfriend is a very, very sexy girl and she often wears clothing which are my fetish like pantyhoses, thigh high stockings, high boots, short skirts and tight tops. see her walk in her fishnets over shiny pantyhose in her high boots made me get extremely horny without restricted in a chastitybelt and I did not experienced this not yet, but it will soon happen I think (and hope). This situation of feeling helpless forces me to dream about things instead of experience them for real. I try to get most possible satisfaction out of my dreams because it's all I have. It feels so good to finally let it happen what I promised myself a long time ago, experience chastity in the way these belts are designed for. restricting sexual needs in any possible way without freedom to unload.
There are very much chastitydevices and a lot can be broken easilly if the pressure is getting really to high to handle. I did choose the safest way to buy this expensive belt to know for sure I never ever can't escape without the key. And here I am, in the situation of extreme lust and desires which I can't hold anymore already. In my mind this torture satisfies me because I have no choice than get used to this torture and finally feel this as something 'normal'. This is impossible ofcourse, but I try to write my stories down for people who enjoy reading them.
Last time some keyholders sent me messages and offered to hold the keys for lifetime. This turned me on very much, because if my girlfriend would allow it later in the process I hope I can hand the keys over to a cruel and extremely sadistic keyholder who enjoys to control this endless torture on me without any freedom at all. My greatest kick on this to see the sadist who holds the keys having endless sexual pleasure on my suffer in this. My chastitybelt has metal points which can be locked inside which will make any smallest erection such a torture that makes me cry and scream it our of pain. I tried this once and in my extreme rush of this kick i let the key on the total other side of the house. I felt this horrable pain and realising the key wasn't there made my erection even more hard which caused me crawling on the floor for about 5 minutes until the pain became so cruel my erection flew away. But I am prepared to wear this points in my chastitybelt if a keyholder in the future let me to. My choice is, and still is, endless chastity controlled by someone else. And if that person want these points inside, I have no right tom protest in this because It's not realistic to give the control away on this and still decide what he can do on me or not.
Right now my girlfriend has the keys and she has total control in this and she enjoys it very much. She gets horny when she reads my high lust out of my eyes and I serve her orgasms everytime she wants me to. I even ask sometimes if I may give her an orgasm because it's the best way of sexual contact which I got so hungry on already. My girlfriend is really sexy and i realise it's the hardest torture to let this happen with such a sexy girlfriend. it is something new for her and she is very exciting by how this situation boosted her sexual needs, which were very high before already. My pleasure is to see her enjoy this and all the new and cruel plans we talk about.
I feel her enjoy this taste from the start a few days ago when she got total control of my endless chastity. She talked about cuckolding and she will have sex with other men when she needs longer sexual moments which a guy who hasn't the restriction of a chastity-device. Those words told by her scared me but made me more and more horny about it. I accept all consequences out of this and that single lock which is, and stays, closed on me will bring me a lot of cruel and humiliating moments which will make me cry, crawl and suffer in any other way. It feels like my destiny which I accepted and created an impossible return. I can't break this golden words which satisfies us both in such a high and undescribable way. It's the truth now and I accepted it many years ago deep inside me. I only need to accept the consequences which will come and most of them I even don't know yet.
How did it started that I became locked up in chastitybelt?
Welcome at my diary about my experience to be locked up in a chastitybelt. I have been obsessed from a very young age by Chastitybelts. I really could not understand how these devices could be made. I was sure, and I still am, that only an extremely sadist figured the first chastitydevice out. A device which locks a person's sexual desires behind steel. Desires which are not able to stop so my logical conclusion was that it has to be an endless torture.
I have been always addicted to sex and this extreme torture whas something I really could not imagine how hard it could be. I imagined myself locked up in a chastitybelt and have the feeling I could not take it anymore, but I had to take it because I had no key. Forced to feel this endless torture until someone just simply turns the key what made this torture end.
A few months ago, without having experience to be locked up at all in a chastitybelt at all I have bought one of the most restrictive Chastitybelts around. The strongest quality Carrara chastitybelt. I read stories from people wearing it and i read that in this chastitybelt exvery sexual satisfaction is absolutely impossible. I bought this chastitybelt to be locked for the rest of my life and I had no idea how it felt like but the thought of this only made my sexual activity unstoppable. This was one of my biggest concerns too like you can understand.
My girlfriend was excited by this idea very much, but she is not really Dominant so I had control over the key every second. even when she holded the key. I made excuses a lot to free myself again because I did not hold it anymore and I felt a strong guilt which I could not deal with. It felt me very hard to experience this cruel torture. The chastitybelt was left unused in the bedroom for longer time until I spoke my girlfriend about it and the chastitybelt was too expensive for letting it unused and I needed discipline to hand over the control to my girlfriend totally and permanently.
I am locked up for 5 days now and I am going mad already, but I really wanted to feel how real chastity feels myself and I knew before it would not be easy at all. I even knew for sure that it would be an extreme cruel torture and it is already now but there is no return. I handed over the control of the keys totally to my girlfriend and I really don't know where they are. The belt stays locked and will be opened only for very short time for cleaning once about 3-4 weeks. The last reason why the chastitybelt would be opened is for having sex with my girlfriend without ever having the permission to have an orgasm. Sometimes she needs the real sexual experience, and she doesn't accept that my restriction becomes her restriction so I will sometimes taste a little freedom only for the moment to satisfy her orgasm and after that the chastitybelt will be directly be closed again. My experience is that after some days locked in this chastitybelt it takes some time before my orgasm comes up so if she releases me only at her climax part it's short enough for me to fight my orgasm before i can loose control. The rest of this period the belt is locked no matter what happens.
While wearing my unescapable chastitybelt, my frustrations are rising very hard and this blog is a short escape for me by sharing my deepest frustrations and phantasy's in this chastitybelt from now on.
I have been always addicted to sex and this extreme torture whas something I really could not imagine how hard it could be. I imagined myself locked up in a chastitybelt and have the feeling I could not take it anymore, but I had to take it because I had no key. Forced to feel this endless torture until someone just simply turns the key what made this torture end.
A few months ago, without having experience to be locked up at all in a chastitybelt at all I have bought one of the most restrictive Chastitybelts around. The strongest quality Carrara chastitybelt. I read stories from people wearing it and i read that in this chastitybelt exvery sexual satisfaction is absolutely impossible. I bought this chastitybelt to be locked for the rest of my life and I had no idea how it felt like but the thought of this only made my sexual activity unstoppable. This was one of my biggest concerns too like you can understand.
My girlfriend was excited by this idea very much, but she is not really Dominant so I had control over the key every second. even when she holded the key. I made excuses a lot to free myself again because I did not hold it anymore and I felt a strong guilt which I could not deal with. It felt me very hard to experience this cruel torture. The chastitybelt was left unused in the bedroom for longer time until I spoke my girlfriend about it and the chastitybelt was too expensive for letting it unused and I needed discipline to hand over the control to my girlfriend totally and permanently.
I am locked up for 5 days now and I am going mad already, but I really wanted to feel how real chastity feels myself and I knew before it would not be easy at all. I even knew for sure that it would be an extreme cruel torture and it is already now but there is no return. I handed over the control of the keys totally to my girlfriend and I really don't know where they are. The belt stays locked and will be opened only for very short time for cleaning once about 3-4 weeks. The last reason why the chastitybelt would be opened is for having sex with my girlfriend without ever having the permission to have an orgasm. Sometimes she needs the real sexual experience, and she doesn't accept that my restriction becomes her restriction so I will sometimes taste a little freedom only for the moment to satisfy her orgasm and after that the chastitybelt will be directly be closed again. My experience is that after some days locked in this chastitybelt it takes some time before my orgasm comes up so if she releases me only at her climax part it's short enough for me to fight my orgasm before i can loose control. The rest of this period the belt is locked no matter what happens.
While wearing my unescapable chastitybelt, my frustrations are rising very hard and this blog is a short escape for me by sharing my deepest frustrations and phantasy's in this chastitybelt from now on.
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